A very popular actor, singer, educationalist and politician recently opened up to the media to talk about all areas of her life, public and private.
However, one comment that attracted a great deal of attention was the fact that she said she had not slept with a man for six years.
This remark has been discussed by many because today’s society has idolised sex and many cannot think of living happily without sex.
The benefits of sex
Sex in marriage has amazing benefits to the mind, body and soul of spouses. Apart from procreation, it is a good exercise and helps to maintain your weight.
It improves your immune system and therefore, reduces your chances of getting sick. It reduces your chances of heart failure and stroke by half and prostate cancer by a third.
Mentally, it is a powerful stress management tool, it improves your self-esteem, makes you happier, work harder and live longer.
Orgasm reduces pain and improves sleep. Some experts believe sex is the best prescription for good health.
It is also the deepest form of communication and, therefore, an important way to express the love you share with your lover.
Sex is what makes a marriage a marriage because it is the only thing you can do to the exclusion of all others.
It is also an index of the health of a marriage. A good sexual life reduces your chances of conflicts.
If your sexual life is good, chances are your marriage grows in health and divorce has no room in your marriage.
Men and women
Both men and women have natural sexual drive but a man wants more sex than a woman. His body produces 20 times the concentration of sex hormones as compared to a woman.
Again, a man produces anywhere up to 500 million sperms a day and the accumulation of sexual fluid prompts release through ejaculation.
Some woman also experience some heaviness around the pelvis that makes them desire sex.
Studies show, however, that a man without sex for one day is like a man without sex for 20 days and desires sex four times more than a woman.
A man performs sex for pleasure, reassurance and ego enhancement. Regular sex is, therefore, critical to a man’s sense of feeling loved and desired by his woman.
He builds his love through sex and uses it as a language to communicate unspoken expressions such as ‘ I love you, sorry’.
A woman performs sex to express her love, comfort and assurance to fulfill her womanhood as she assures her man of her love.
Men have the highest arousal in the early 20’s and women, late 30’s when her testosterone levels are rising and has a stronger urge for sex.
Life without sex
Sex is like diet and, therefore, driven by appetite. If you can break the cycle, over time, the physical and psychological needs lessen and those needs lose their power and you can live without sex.
Therefore, sexual instinct can be mastered, directed and channeled into productive activities.
Your mind is your most important weapon; nothing can happen if you do not give in to it.
This explains why people in religious life can live without sex.
Celibacy is not something to be feared; it can be a positive choice and a way forward to your life aspirations.
Studies show celibacy has many physical, mental, financial and spiritual benefits.
Can you live without sex?
For one thing, sex is meant for partners in marriage. Therefore, if you are not married, then it is best to stay away from sex.
Be careful with sexual excitement, temptation and provocation on social media. Avoid thinking about it. Avoid negative thoughts and focus on your work.
Studies show people who work hard and enjoy their work find it easier to stay away from sex.
Contrary to what many think, life without sex is not lifeless and empty. A marriage psychologist, Thomas Schmidt, says it only an aberration of our sorry generation that makes us think sexual abstinence denies us of joy and holistic personal development.
This is because many physicians of great repute maintain that sexual abstinence does not harm the equilibrium and the physical and psychical development of human beings if it is freely and wholly accepted and that it is integrated into the totality of the person.
Sex is not everything in life or marriage. You can live without it. Studies show that 40 million Americans are in sexless marriages (they never have sex at all or when they do, it is less than 10 times in a year).
Again, a study done in the US in 2015 showed that 20 per cent of married partners below age 50 had not had sex in the past one year. But life goes on for them. This means there are many ways of expressing love without sex.
Sex means different things to different people. You can have a happy marriage with or without sex.
To live with or without sex is a decision you have to make with your partner. You can go for it or not. You choose because what happens to you and your relationship is the product of the choices you make in life.